MzPatti

Herrow!

I lurves me some leetle animals. If you lurves you some leetle animals too, please support animal rescue by donating funds or your time. Even well worn but clean towels or a few extra cases of food will be unbelievably welcomed by your local shelter. Think outside the box...laundry detergent, safe, gentle soaps, grooming brushes, simple fleece or flannel blankets...you get the idea. The finest gift in the World is the gift of giving.

bah...off my soapbox now.

I'm old, cranky ALL the time and according to a vast minority of one ( that would be @Cherries ) on the public forums, I'm a troll. Go figure.

I love to sew, quilt, bead, crazy quilt, ATC/INCHIES, make journals, cards, totes, clay creations, poofy things, girlie bath stuff and anything else I can find to tinker with and "glitter up".

Since I am old AND mean I don't really care for cartoony things. No Disney characters or Bart Simpson or the like. Don't send me any of those characters and I won't come to your house and beat up your dog/pig/fish/squirrel/rat/iguana/bird/cat/hamster/ goat/snake/bird/boyfriend/girlfriend/garden gnome/congressman/hooker/pimp/reindeer/goblins/troll doll/Jonas brother/cousin Trixie/grandma/ex-husband. Well, no promises on the worthless asshat ex-husband.

Seen my picture posted on this site? BWAHAHAAA!!! Yeah, baby, that's what 72 looks like. Trust me, you're next! Heeeeee! Naw, I kid, I kid! I kid because I love! I'm actually only 28 but I've been rode hard and put up wet one too many times.

I live in Ohio so I "enjoy" all four seasons.Four seasons are as follows: snowing, almost snowing, snowing again and the ever popular won't stop snowing. Did you know that The State Beverage is gravy? The State Tree is the Orangeous Traffica Conus (which also breeds Trafica Barreldentus) . HA! The state flower is Bisquick and the state song is Yummy yummy yummy I've got lard in my tummy.

I do like florals, Victorian, old Christmas, faeries, soft sweet bunnies and kitties. I also love the homemade zombies, vampires and such. I think they are a hoot. Very much love everything Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Nightmare Before Christmas. I've never been scared by scary movies, books and stuff. MrPatti will be the first to tell you that I'm the scariest thing on our block. LOVE Buffy and all things Spike! I and many others have been robbed of Firefly. I love comics and dream of being the bizarre old lady at any comic-con.

I like silver jewelry and have no allergies. I have 7 piercings on my old and wrinkled body and if you can guess where they all are, I'll send you a prize. This should help you out, no nipple rings. = ( I had to remove them when the sparks from scraping them across concrete caught my clothes on fire. True story.

Yes, I'm strange I guess. But I can promise you that I will never send you inferior stuff and will always send a few extras.

Oh, good grief. I have 4 cats now; Boo Radley and Bully Girl and Bodhi and Itty Bitty Kitty (to be known as Bitty) our even newer newest baby kitteh. They are exactly as named. Boo spends most of his life hiding, thinking about hiding or going from one hiding place to another. Bully is ready to take on the World. She's a daddy's girl and weighs 24lbs. She always gets her way. Bodhi is a gentle soul who likes to walk around the house talking to himself. He chirps and trills and softly yips and meows until he finds you. Then he purrs and purrs and wants to be held.

Bitty is another abandoned kitteh that I've been feeding since last July. She's a very tiny Tuxedo kitty who started out being kinda skittish around us. She is now quite loving and hangs around our house. MrPatti said, "no way can we have another cat". Well, because it is soooooo cold outside and she's just an itty bitty kitty, I've been wearing him down. So, she is going to be visiting the vet to be nipped/tucked and then will be brought inside. She already has a friendly rapport with the other kittehs through the front door screen so I think everyone will adjust. Hooray!!! Now, I'm finally living the life of my favorite Simpsons© character, the crazy cat lady. We have a huge 3 storied house and just the two of us, so everyone will all be able to have their own space. The down side to this is that MrPatti has forbidden me to talk to or "outside adopt and feed" any more kittehs. Silly man.

~important update~

The Mister is now Bitty Kitty's love slave. She can't wait for him to come home and sit in his recliner so she can climb right up and root around under his chin to be loved and kissed. He is smitten with her and like any proud new papa, thinks she is genius whenever she does anything. But, she is a tiny terror who will not tolerate any disobedience from her new sister and brothers. If she is sitting in her love slave's lap and anyone gets too close she will issue a slight growl of disapproval; dare to make eye contact with her love slave and she propels herself like a missile of death onto her not-so-bright sibling with destruction on her itty bitty kitty mind.

I do have a private crafting/sewing room that is off limits to my kittehs (even though it offends them greatly) and I do try to send clean, kitteh-free swaps. So far, no complaints.

I have a smoke-free home so no worries!

Love bookmarks. Love to read everything from mysteries to sci-fi and everything in between. I do love teas of all kinds. Loose or packaged I can deal with both. Love Sting, Vince Gill, James Taylor, John Lennon, Old Motown, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Frank Sinatra, Dido, Enya, Dolly Parton, Unknown Hinson and almost all the 70's and 80's bands.

Love any Brit-Com ever produced. Same for Masterpiece Theatre. Love NCIS, Criminal Minds, Bones, Medium, The Big Bang Theory.

Love all things red/cranberry/pinks and greens. Love to prowl around thrift shops for old laces and jewelry. Love to redo softly loved jewelry. Love to cook. Love to eat. Love volunteering. Love to make new friends. Love the idea of swapping with creative people. Love to get started! =D MzPatti

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My Philosophy

Always be kind to yourself and responsible for your own happiness. Sometimes, just because you can, let some fool out in front of you when waiting at a red light.

Never think for one minute that you are better than anybody else. Unless anybody else is a murdering drunk asshat who lives to make others suffer from their demons. THEN you can swaddle yourself in self-righteous glory.

Yes you WOULD work at McDonald's or anywhere else if you had to put food on your children's table. Even their adult table if they needed your help.

Never let a day pass that you aren't grateful for the very air that you breathe. Be grateful for your sight, walking abilities, hearing and all the millions of things that you are able to do without thinking twice about; one day those little luxuries won't be there and they won't be coming back.

Feed the squirrels or birds or strays. They hold the key to your soul. Be happy to have a bed to sleep in at night and an indoor toilet and soap.

Feed your brain and your heart. Make time to help someone without them finding out it was you. Be stingy with your health. No one will ever care as much about you as you do. Do everything you can possibly do to keep yourself in the best shape of your life. Trust me, no one will ever lose sleep at night worrying if you took your vitamins that day.

Keep you head up and never sit with your back to the door. Trust no one under 30. Hey, it was good advice in the 60's and it's good advice now. Live every day of your life with gusto, curiosity and no fear. Remember the first time you had sex? Kinda like that. The trash heap has spoken. ☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀

Support your military. Without them we'd all be screwed.

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Question of the day...If you choke a smurf what color does he turn?

Question of the week...Why are scissors called a pair? Would you ever take your scissors apart to make two individual scisses?

Question of the month...How would you kill a murder of crows?

FOR THE LOVE OF JEBUS, PEOPLE! IF YOU TRULY DON'T WANT EXTRAS TELL ME! DON'T GO FLAILING ALL OVER THE PISSY FORUMS WITH SPITTLE HANGING OFF YER CHIN , YOUR EYES ALL WIDE AND CROSSED WITH YER ASS HAIR ON FIRE TO CRUCIFY ME!!! FFS, GET A GRIP!!! ]=X SHEESH. The previous rant was in answer to the tiny voices inside MzPatti's pointy widdle head and is meant to distract you from her gaping lack of intelligence. Carry on.