Swap-bot Time: June 22, 2018 3:51 am


Date Joined: April 6, 2012
Last Online: May 30, 2018
Birthday: April 27
Country: United States
My Etsy Store
Thinly Veiled Procrastination (a blog)




email me, dm me on insta or postcard me if you need me.

I'm sure I'll be back here eventually.



P.O. Box 2256
Beaverton, Or 97075

Me (real quick)

Hi, if you don't know me, I'm Met.

Met as in: Meticulous, Metaphor, Metaphysical, Metal.
Hopper as in: Edward Hopper, Grasshopper, frogs and bunny rabbits.

I get a lot of mail for Mel Hooper/Harper/Cooper, and would appreciate, uh, not getting mail for Mel Hooper/Harper/Cooper...


Aritst. Writer. West Coast Resident.

I have a kid (obtained from another source) and a husband.

Sometimes I volunteer with helping train service dogs. I'd rather volunteer training service lizards but they don't exist yet. I love most animals. I have a ferret named Fenrir. He's named after the wolf in Norse Mythology.

I'm a gentle soul with a penchant for unsavory language and bold humor. I try to reign it in to keep people comfortable though. I enjoy the surreal and the absurd as well as snippets of the mundane. All told, I consider myself pretty easy going and quite difficult to offend.

I always love a good note. So tell me about whatever you want to. Secrets, confessions, meal plans, anecdotes, shopping lists, destinations, dreams and everything else always welcome.

I appreciate mail art and decorated envelopes, of course, but please don't fuss over them if you don't enjoy doing so. I'm perfectly fine with plain legal envelopes and metered postage.

I like

-song birds, especially wrens
-foul language
-weird things
-science fiction
-the macabre and morbid

Hideously Allergic to-

-most perfumes/cologne

I do not eat meat (except fish on occasion) due to personal / spiritual reasons.

Please do not send me anything made with fur or leather.

Things that freak me the hell out

-tropical birds
-nail files. seriously.
-baby humans. also seriously. I do not like pictures of them. I do not find them cute. You can tell me about the babies in your life if you want, but I really am not a fan of kids.

Talents & Swap Relevant

stuff I make

I do or dabble in a lot of crafts and arts, but for the most part I:
-paint (watercolor, acrylic, oil)
-carve stamps and stencils
-make batches of postcards

Subject matter wise I have always preferred the human form, especially women. I also really enjoy doing hands. Right now most of my art is pet based. You can see my art and junk (a lot of it, anyway) on my instagram! I take portrait commissions in my spare time, both pet and human (:

I also write a lot. Most of my writing time ends up going to my novels, which are a series of science fiction books addressing mental health issues. I also write personal essays, poetry and zines. Style wise I think my best work is raw and uncomfortably bold humor. I don't like sugar coating.

stuff I swap

-handmade postcards
-misc little creative things
-sometimes other things, but mostly those 4.

stuff I like

-misc little creative things
-smallish stuff I can hang on my wall
-weird/cute stickers
-quotes pertaining to art/ writing
-whatever craft you're good at and want to share
-stuff for a regular sized happy planner


Please be choosy with what sort of extras you send- or, don't feel the need to send extras! I have very little craft space.

-I don't collage. please no napkins or random paper bits.

-I hate coloring. Legit. hate. it.

-I don't join food swaps because I know my dietary restrictions make it difficult/ not fun to shop for me. I really do love trying new foods and have a tremendous sweet tooth. If you decide to send food my way please make sure it has packaging I can read the ingredients on. Looking for things without peanuts and "suitable for vegans" is usually the safest way to go for me. Tea is fine to send!

I don't like scrapbooking. at all. I junk journal sometimes or glue crap into my journals but I do not scrapbook

I like collaborative projects, but I rarely do them, feel like I need to kinda know who I am working with to make it work.

I don't have the patience for things like deco's or friendship books. Passing things around is not my thing.

Less Relevant Likes


I listen to a stupid amount of music ranging from folk metal to electro-swing and hitting a lot of weird stops in between.

Bands my family is currently sick of hearing me play:
-Alice in Chains
-Florence and the Machine
-Caravan Palace
-Amon Amarth


I don't watch a ton of movies. My favorite films are A Scanner Darkly, A Clockwork Orange, Dr. Strangelove, all the Hellraisers, Sin City, Beavis and Butthead Do America... and the Emperor's New Groove.

I really love MST3k.


I especially like horror and science fiction. Love classics, memoirs and classic dystopias especially. Phillip K. Dick is my favorite author by far and A Clockwork Orange is likely my favorite book.

I also really love comics!

I don't like YA fiction, just can't get into it. (Yep, that means I don't like Harry Potter or Hunger Games or any of that.)

Random other bits

-Ich spreche ein bisschen scheusslich Deutsch. Ich kann Deutsch lesen sehr besser als ich kann Deutsch schrieben. Wenn du Deutsch kannst, kannst du mich auf Deutsch schreiben!

-Ik ben Nederlands ann het leren. (ik spreek geen Nederlands.) If you speak Dutch you can write me in Dutch but talk to me like I am a 3 year old or give me a translation, alsjeblieft.

-I am kinda a dweeb for languages. Love learning them, love looking at them. Love quirks in syntax and weird idioms. I also love fonts, penmanship, linguistics, linguistic anthropology, old English and gosh just most language things.

-I have a budding interest (ha) in botany and love botanical illustrations, updates on your garden and all that jazz.

-I cannot stress enough how much I like spiders. I love spiders. I have always loved spiders since I was a kid and used to befriend them. Spider motifs and tidbits, especially realistic ones, are always loved. Nephila spiders (banana spiders to non dweebs) are my favorite. I also really love the orchid mantises right now.

-I'm pretty open minded and easy going. I definitely am not bothered by religious sentiments on cards or hearing about your religion. Things with bible quotes on them will probably be lost on me though.

-I am VERY LGBTQA-ETC supportive!!! Send us your rainbow flags and gay sparkly crap. Trans* pride stuff would probably make the kid's day. (and, androgynous pride stuff would make mine.)


jillybird rated for PVT: Spring Into Spring ATCs on Mar 27, 2018
Comment: Thank you so much for the sweet trio of Spring ATCs.! They really capture the wonder of he season! I love your painting style - it is so delicate!
luluvision rated for MA: Draw a thang ... on Mar 26, 2018
Comment: OF course, your hand is awesome! Thank you! Your swoop of color is great too!
Anettethhjertnes rated for Dicks In Disguise ATCs on Feb 5, 2018
Comment: You are great on painting, realy love the "squid"
Comment: Good luck on your goals!
CurlyTea rated for Copy Cat Advent/Countdown Swap #3 on Nov 27, 2017
Comment: Cute gingerbread house stamp. Thank you!
Response: oh how fortuitous, he was just a pokey little puppy of an envelope. (:
Heynowokay rated for Copy Cat Advent/Countdown Swap #3 on Nov 20, 2017
Comment: Woohoo!
JeanetteC rated for Copy Cat Advent/Countdown Swap #3 on Nov 19, 2017
Comment: I love the underwaterish theme of this envie, complete with shark! Thanks. Update: I love the play on white ATC. Every time I look at it I see something different...cool.
Response: I was so tempted to draw little santa hats on the sharks but did not want to anger the postal gods. I am in desperate need of buying some new postage (festive and otherwise!)
luluvision rated for Copy Cat Advent/Countdown Swap #3 on Nov 18, 2017
Comment: Can't wait to see what is inside! The envelope got torn a bit on the corner so I was very tempted to take a peek inside! I didn't though!! UPDATE: 12/13 I really enjoy the ATC! Thank you so much!
Babsmomof5 rated for Copy Cat Advent / Countdown Swap on Nov 7, 2017
Comment: Thank you! Love the shimmery blue on the envelope...can't wait to get my advent all hung up!
CurlyTea rated for Copy Cat Advent / Countdown Swap on Nov 7, 2017
Comment: Thank you so much. I can't wait to start opening these... but I will wait... I will. Update: opened December 2nd, that is a fun ATC. I love the blue splatter dots. Very cool. Thanks!
Sazza rated for Copy Cat Advent / Countdown Swap on Nov 7, 2017
Comment: I love your designs on this enveople! Is that a stencil? At a distance it almost looks like washi tape (based on the size). Whatever it is, it is very neat! Thank you for sending the advent! I look forward to opening it.
Response: The stencil looking washi sized pattern is a handcarved stamp made from an awkwardly sized scrap from another project (: I'm glad it caught your eye!
cbzcando rated for Copy Cat Advent / Countdown Swap on Nov 7, 2017
Comment: Thank you for the pretty blues envie! Stay nice and warm. I’m waving to you over the I-5. Can you see me? (In Salem for awhile. Brrr - the ground is crunchy this morning) 🙋🏻❄️❄️
tcornell rated for mpu: lots of rules HMPC on May 30, 2017
Comment: Love your postcard for this! Thanks a bunch :) and, yes I guessed what it was for LOL
midwestkiwi rated for mpu: whud i miss? PC on May 24, 2017
Comment: Citrus! Our grocery store had a citrus tasting last fall. I had no idea there were so many varieties of oranges! I'd thought that blood orange was my favorite, but discovered I like Cara Cara more. (The Fremont Troll can't have any; she'll have to settle for an orange car) PS Sorry for the late rate, it's not enough to save ratings if one doesn't fill in the "I got my stuff..." button.
Comment: Love the postcard and prompt!
midwestkiwi rated for mpu: zine zone on May 15, 2017
Comment: I loved the refrigerator poetry. Somewhere under the postcards, grandchild's art, obsolete grocery lists, and recipes I really know better that to attempt, we have some. But I think children and guests have stolen all the good words, anyway.
Loonstruck rated for mpu: zine zone on May 13, 2017
Comment: Oh how I love poetry magnets. They are so fun to play with and I absolutely adore this idea for a zine.
JeanetteC rated for mpu: zine zone on May 11, 2017
Comment: I adore the fancy fish stamp, I assume it's one you made? Thank you too for the fun fridge zine...hummm what about one inspired by what's inside? Or what goes on inside? Thank you!

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CurlyTea on May 1, 2018:

Happy Birthday! Sorry, I am a few days late. I hope you had a great day. Hugs

jukejan on Apr 24, 2018:

Arachnid mail arrived and I love it! MMmm homemade bread.

jukejan on Apr 16, 2018:

I think that the lobster mail went around Cape Horn, to find you! He must have caught a whale migrating north after that. So happy Kenneth liked what I sent, too.

charophyta on Mar 27, 2018:

Hi! Just stopping by to let you know I received your Scream in the mail. :) Thanks! I'm glad you made these, I felt touched to receive it.

stephiedee on Mar 13, 2018:

Thank you - glad for the heads up. Mail has been really fucken dumb lately.

CurlyTea on Mar 6, 2018:

jukejan on Mar 2, 2018:

Took my first look at your blog and love it. The freaking ferret is great, but the kid and tea party stole my heart. That is oil worthy for sure. Sending a small envie out to "yoose".

bbsporty on Feb 23, 2018:

Thank you for the awesome spider postcard you sent me! I love it! It's going up on my favorites wall.

CurlyTea on Feb 14, 2018:

pkpeace on Feb 14, 2018:

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