katehawk

UPDATE MARCH 18th, 2010: from march 5th - 12th i went to maryland to visit my mom. in having gone there for a whole week i was limited in my crafting. (i can't bring it all with me 'cause that's A LOT of stuff so i only bring enough for certain crafts). when i returned to philly i barely got settled in before going to my "whatever-he-is" house for the weekend. i got back late sunday night & have been trying to play catch up from the week plus away from home.

during the week i was in maryland i got a phone call from my gyn doctor. she told me i have something called cervical intraepithelial neoplasia. while this is apparently becoming rather common when i was told this & it's happening to me, the "common" part doesn't make me feel any better. i have cin3 which means i'm very close to having cervical cancer. there is a procedure to have all these cells removed (again they used a light word "routine" like it was no big deal) & i'll be going through that ordeal in april. this might be common, but it's not like a cold or something, it's 1 very small step away from cancer. the reason i share this is because i'm scared, terrified actually, because i'm going through this alone.

without getting into details i basically don't have a strong female influence in my life. my mom & i do not get along. my visit out to maryland was spent mostly alone while she did her own thing (i hadn't seen her since december)!! or her trying to pick fights with me because despite her age sometimes i think she's the maturity level of a 15 year old. she knows about this but tells me she doesn't have the time to come to philly while i'm meeting with the doctor, etc.

to top the icing on the cake after a wonderful visit with the guy i've been in love with for 2 years i brought up the wanting to be his girlfriend thing. because i basically am, minus the label (which is why i call him my "whatever-he-is") and once again he turned me down. so i feel like a fool over that & realizing i've wasted 2 years of my life. so my heart has been breaking & i'm feeling abandon by the people around me that i love.

i'll wrap all this up by saying after i finish the swaps i'm in i don't think i'll be doing swap-bot anymore. my whole life right now is very upside down & retrogressive. i hate that i'm 30, live at home with my dad, have no job, etc. it's humiliating. right now i'm in a pretty serious slip into some deep, dark depression. and i'm just at the point where i want to give up. simple as that. in order to try and avoid that i'm planning a long vacation, somewhere warm & as far away from all the hurt & heartache of philly.

WHO AM I ANYWAY? hello! my name is kate hawk. hawk is not my real last name but it's been my nick name for so many years now that it feels like it is. i was given the nickname because i used to have a pretty sweet mohawk. [it was 1 ft high & i often changed the color of it]. below are some points of interest in who i am. just remember, this is only a part of me. i am many layers, like an onion. :)

• i started a group called matchbox & more and i would love for people to join it! it is mainly about making altered matchboxes of various kinds but once in a while there will be something like an atc, whimsy jar or lucky parcel in the swap too. i hope you'll be a part of the fun there. i'll be starting swaps when i reach 20 members & have A LOT of fun ideas to do so come on & don't miss the fun.

• i am 30 years old & rediscovering life again for the first time. on may 23rd 2009 i quit drinking & started going to aa meetings. the sober life style has been an amazing & difficult journey but i have gained so much perspective from it. in my choice to get sober i started doing what i loved so much years ago but had let fall to the wayside... arts & crafts. swap-bot has been a big part of my sobriety & knowing that my art is out there in the homes of people all over the world is such an amazing feeling. i also love the fact that i have been sent art from so many creative people all over the globe. i enjoy making friends on here too & meeting people from everywhere! years ago i had pen pals & this is like a 2nd chance to do that again.

• i want to be back in school for baking & pastry, but there are only 2 options in philly so i haven't made any decisions yet. i have many dreams & goals for my future. getting my butt back to school is a huge leap towards all the doors i hope to open as my life moves forward in a positive direction. my career goals are a secret for now, but once i get the ball rolling on them you can be sure i'll share!

• i am not ashamed to admit that i am biploar, the winters are the hardest for me and my depression is usually more frequent. i also have been diagnosed borderline personality disorder but this is a new diagnosis that i'm still trying to come to terms with. the name alone sound so mean. i'm eccentric, passionate, a free spirit, spontaneous, impulsive (at times), and carefree but to say i'm crazy cuts like a knife, deep, and it hurts A LOT!

• i love to organize & am always looking for new tips on new ways to keep things in order. i'm the kind of person who is very passionate about whatever i'm doing and all my various interests. it sometimes is a blessing and a curse. i tend to get ocd and perfectionist about things because i want it to be just right. but i always mean well and want the best for people in my life, even if it's just a brief encounter on here in swap-bot land.

• i am big into charity. i did 2 fundraisers [in 2007 & 2008] for alex's lemonade stand www.alexslemonade.org which helps fund research for childhood cancer. i lost 1 cousin to this & another cousin battled & survived. it's a very personal subject for me and i love being able to spread the awareness. i was also fortunate enough to make roughly $10,000 for this non-profit organization between the 2 fundraisers.

• i'm an only child but since that's a lonely way to grow up i have "adopted" my two closest friends as siblings. @kirakitty is my sister & i have a brother too. both have super amazing kids. cat has a little boy who was born december 7th 2009 & my bro has 2 boys who are 7 & 2. all these kids are the lights of my life. bad days don't seem as gloomy when i spend time around any of them.

• my mom lives in maryland so sometimes (not often) i go there for visits. it's nice because she lives close to both baltimore and d.c. i love her house because it's in the country and i get a chance to enjoy stars & being in the middle of nowhere for a bit. i go on a lot of hikes while i'm there. it's quite a pleasant change from the city life.

i made lists because it's easiest to read. please know that despite my very specific interests that these are simply a guide line should you need some ideas or inspiration or just want to talk to me about similar likes.

INTERESTS / HOBBIES:

• astrology

• astronomy

• authentic 80 memorabilia [mostly toys like: smurfs, voltron, my little pony, ninja turtles, etc. i'm not a fan of the 80s things coming back with a modern twist/update!!]

• badtz-maru

• baking

• beat boxing

• brass knuckles aka knuckle dusters

• break dancing [i want to learn how to do this so bad]

• camping

• cherries

• cupcakes [anything & everything with a cupcake on it or for making cupcakes]

• crafts [MORE INFORMATION BELOW]

• crossword puzzles

• currency from other countries

• fairies

• geeks, dweebs, nerds, dorks [you get the picture]

• getting tattoos [i have 10 so far]

• going to concerts, the ballet, musical theatre or broadway

• halloween

• hugs

• jigsaw puzzles

• kawaii / harajuku

• kitchen accessories [cupcake liners, cookie cutters, recipe books or cards, cupcake toppers, random gadgets]

• laughing until my tummy hurts

• lyrics

• macs [as in the computers]

• magazines with drew barrymore or beastie boys on the covers of them

• mohawks [i used to have one & still would if i could]

• mythology

• old school nintendo

• pin-up girls [the older the better, nothing after the 80s]

• pirates

• playing board or card games

• postcards [written on or blank, doesn't matter!]

• quotes

• recycling [any suggestions on how to reuse, save the earth, recycle items, etc. please share!!]

• retro things [cars, fashion, product designs, technology, advertising, music, hair styles]

• riding my bike

• robots

• roller coasters

• serial killers

• stamps from other countries

• stars [shape]

• steampunk

• tape cassettes & mix tapes / playlists

• text messaging

• the 7 wonders of the world [and all the other mysteries & beauties of the world]

• the jewish faith [i'm not jewish, but i love learning about it]

• thunder storms

• tour buses

• traveling [only in the u.s. right now, but i really hope to get out of the country and see the world someday soon]

• unicorns

• urban exploring

• urban legends

• video games

• vinyl records

• wolverine [marvel comics character]

• world of warcraft [horde - troll hunter]

• writing short stories / journaling

• zombies

COLORS [1st - last]:

• purple

• green

• black

• blue

i like darker colors like maroon instead of red. but any shade of purple or green or blue = AWESOME!

FOOD / DRINK:

• all fruits [especially: peaches, star fruit & any kinds of berries]

• all veggies [especially: zucchini, brussel sprouts, asparagus]

• bacon

• chicken ANYTHING [i love chicken!!]

• desserts [especially cupcakes, brownies & anything chocolate]

• gluten free [lately i've been trying to change my diet to gluten free due to some pretty gross stomach problems. if you have recipes to share, please do!]

• indian cuisine

• mac & cheese

• non-alcoholic drinks [i'm in AA so please, if you send a drink recipe, make sure it doesn't include alcohol. HOWEVER, i do cook using alcohol because once it's been included in a recipe it basically evaporates & i'm not actually drinking it]

• pumpkin [anything & everything with pumpkin in it = WIN!]

• soups & stew [slow cooked / crock pot meals are all time favorite kind of meals]

• spicy food

• tea & hot chocolate

• vegetarian / vegan meals [i was a vegetarian off & on for years, so i still try to eat healthy & meat free once in a while]

• venison [my stepdad hunts & i'm always looking for recipe ideas]

PLEASE DO NOT SEND FOOD OF ANY KIND UNLESS I SPECIFICALLY SIGN UP FOR A SWAP THAT HAS CANDY/FOOD AS PART OF THE SWAP!!

FLOWERS:

• daises [and every kind of flower that looks like these]

• lilacs

• orchid

• snap dragons

• sunflowers [and every kind of flower that looks like these]

• thistle

• tiger lilies

SMELLS:

• gingerbread

• lilac

• peach

• vanilla

• pumpkin

CITIES & COUNTRIES:

• austin [tx]

• china

• chicago [il]

• england

• egypt

• germany

• greece

• holland

• india

• ireland

• italy

• japan

• las vegas [nv]

• new york [ny]

• paris

• philadelphia [pa]

• st. lucia

ANIMALS / INSECTS:

• bees

• butterflies

• cats [big/small, wild/domestic]

• dogs [especially boxers]

• dolphins

• giraffes

• ladybugs

• penguins

• pigs

• rats

• spiders

DECADES / ERAS:

• 1800s [oregon trail, wild west, the civil war, colonial times, the start of america]

• 1920s [the great depression, flappers, prohibition]

• 1940s [world war 2]

• 1950s [sock hops, soda shops, poodle skirts]

• 1960s [civil rights, peace vs. war]

• 1970s [disco, punk rock]

• anything and everything 80s [music, movie, style, toys, tv, etc.]

• victorian

• renaissance

FAMOUS PEOPLE I ADMIRE:

• beastie boys

• benjamin franklin

• blake lewis

• buddha

• conan o'brien

• drew barrymore

• bill cosby

• christina aguilera

• judy garland

• julia child

• laura ingalls wilder

• lousie brooks

• philly phanatic

• seth rogen

• steve wozniak

• will ferrell

ARTISTS:

• banksy

• grant cob [my tattoo artist, check him out, he's AMAZING!]

• h.r. giger

• jeffery thomas [he did 'twisted princess', zombie versions of disney princess]

• luigi serafini [codex seraphinianus]

WISHLIST: i'm going to try and leave this short & sweet since my likes list is so long (plus i have both an etsy & amazon wishlist too). you can easily get me anything from those & i'd be stoked. but all the same here are some specifics i'm always looking for / happy to receive. :)

• any magazine with drew barrymore on the cover [i would REALLY love the playboy from january 1995]

• any magazine or news article about the beastie boys [or magazines with them on the cover]

• stamps [i prefer the wood/rubber kind to the clear kind, but will use either]

• pigment ink pads & embossing powder [if you're going to send, please message me first for a list of colors i already have]

• gel pens

• glitter glue

• things that can only be found in other countries [like currency, stamps, postcards, magazines that have drew barrymore or beastie boys on the cover, trinkets, etc. ESPECIALLY ITEMS FROM INDIA!]

i'm not very picky & would rather list many likes for you to know me rather than dislikes, but at the same times i thought this list could spare both of us the hassle of you sending items that will never be used and to know a little bit about the other side of me.

• cigarette smell [although i'm guilty of having an occasional smoking vice, the smell gives me a headache]

• hello kitty [i like other san rio characters, just not hello kitty]

• jewelry

• keychains

• lip gloss

• lotions

• make-up [unless it's mac products]

• petrulli oil

• tinkerbell

PLEASE DO NOT SEND: i am putting this on my profile twice just to make sure people see & read it. lately it seems all i have been getting in the mail is exactly what i have been asking NOT to get. this is very frustrating. i know people mean well sending extras, but i just have TOO MUCH of the following items.

• paper [the only exception is paper w/ cupcakes on it]
• stickers [i am good in this department, i have too many as it is]
• eatable / drinkable things [i feel weird about getting food from a virtual stranger & will not eat/drink it]

i don't want to sound unappreciative to those who have sent me any of these in the past, it was very sweet and i do love getting extras. i'm just saying for any future swappers, no more paper scraps, stickers or food items please (unless i specifically sign up to a swap with any of these in the requirements). thank you!

BOOKS:

• acid house

• alice in wonderland

• babysitters club series

• catcher in the rye

• charlotte's web

• divine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood

• go ask alice

• graphic novels [100 bullets, batman, criminal series, dexter, from hell, sin city series, torso series, watchmen, wolverine]

• hope for the flowers

• like water for chocolate

• little house on the prairie series

• my horizontal life

• nanny diaries

• smashed

• tales of a punk rock nothing

• the cat who... [mystery series]

• the celistine prophecy

• the great gatsby

• the perks of being a wallflower

• there's a boy in the girls bathroom

• the secret life of bees

• the wonderful wizard of oz [along with a few of the other books in the series]

• the world according to garp

• where the wild things are

MOVIES:

• 10 things i hate about you

• adventures in babysitting

• all over me

• back to the future [2 is my favorite]

• bad santa

• batteries not included

• beetlejuice

• breakfast club

• bugsy malone

• can't hardly wait

• clerks

• clue

• clueless

• dazed and confused

• donnie darko

• don't tell mom the babysitters dead

• dreams for an insomniac

• edward scissorhands

• elf

• empire records

• flight of the navigator

• ghost dad

• girl, interrupted

• goonies

• grandma's boy

• high tension

• idocracy

• i heart huckabees

• juno

• kids

• labrinyth

• legend

• license to drive

• little miss sunshine

• little monsters

• mallrats

• office space

• punch-drunk love

• reality bites

• role models

• say anything

• serial mom

• seven

• sin city

• suburbia [80s punk version]

• summer school

• superbad

• swimming with sharks

• the crow

• the dark crystal

• the never-ending story

• the princess bride

• the wizard of oz

• welcome to the dollhouse

• whatever

• when harry met sally

• willow

• you me and everyone we know

• zombieland

MUSIC: i listen to a lot of npr talk radio. i also really enjoy zydeco / cajun music but i don't know any specific groups. these are just some of the bands i love, i'm not too picky about my music. i like what i like and i'm not ashamed of it. anything from the 1920s - early 1990s i will probably enjoy listening to. it all depends on my mood

• army of me [formally known as cactus patch]

• beastie boys

• billy joel

• blake lewis

• bon iver

• christina aguilera

• dogs die in hot cars

• duran duran

• elvis presley

• fifty cent

• frank sinatra

• gin blossoms

• germs

• get up kids

• good charlotte

• hall and oates

• hellogoodbye

• innerpartysystem [formally known as the takeover]

• jason mraz

• john mayer

• johnny cash

• journey

• joy devision

• kelly clarkson

• kill verona [formally known as little league]

• mary pranksters

• meatloaf

• missy elliott

• mogwai

• nine inch nails

• nsync

• pelican

• pine leaf boys

• poison

• popvert

• rancid

• rocking horse winner

• scissor sisters

• snoop dogg

• stevie wonder

• talking heads

• tears for fears

• the addicts

• the bravery

• the end of radio

• the faint

• the killers

• the roots

• the supremes

• tribe called quest

• vice squad

• yeah yeah yeahs

• yelle

TV:

• 30 rock

• absolutely fabulous

• ace of cakes

• anime / manga [aeon flux, chobits, dears naruto]

• arrested development

• best week ever

• better off ted

• bones

• breaking bad

• chelsea lately

• clarissa explains it all

• clone high

• cold case [both the tv drama & forensic show]

• community

• degrassi: [junior high, high, the next generation]

• dexter

• dirty sexy money

• fairly odd parents

• forensic files

• freaks and geeks

• fringe

• glee

• golden girls

• good eats with alton brown

• growing pains

• heroes

• hey dude

• house

• how i met your mother

• invader zim

• iron chef

• jimmy neutron

• mad men

• merlin

• modern family

• mtv's undressed

• my so-called life

• myth busters

• out of this world

• party of five

• popular

• punky brewster

• pushing daisies

• quantum leap

• salute your shorts

• samantha who

• saved by the bell

• six feet under

• small wonder

• talk soup

• the big bang theory

• the office [bbc]

• top chef

• undergrads

• united states of tara

• voltron

• warehouse 13

• you can't do that on television

• young ones

DISNEY:

• a bug's life

• aristocats

• aladdin

• beauty and the beast

• black cauldron

• incredibles

• lady and the tramp

• little mermaid

• lion king

• monsters, inc.

• oliver and company

• pete's dragon

• ratatouille

• robin hood

• sleeping beauty

• spirited away

• the sword in the stone

• toy story [1 and 2]

• up

MUSICALS / BROADWAY:

• a chorus line

• annie

• annie get your gun

• cats

• grease

• high school musical

• les miserable

• little shop of horrors

• music man

• phantom of the opera

• rent

• rocky horror picture show

• secret garden

• the wizard of oz

• atc's

• collages

• journaling

• lucky parcels

• matchboxes

• matchbox shrines

• mixed media art

• polymer clay

• postcards

• recipes

• recycled art

• rubber stamping

• scavenger hunts

• sewing

• stamp embossing [with the powder & the heating tool]

• stuffed envies

• whimsey jars

PRIVATE SWAPS: i am interested in doing more private swaps to avoid the hassle of flakers and nonraters. so if you have anything in mind that falls under these categories, please PM me and we can set something up!! also look for me on the forums, sometimes i post in there for private swap set ups!

please don't just look at those and see it as my only ratings. i have more 5 & hearts than 3s and will continue to only get 5s & hearts from this point forward. those 3s came at a very difficult time for me and i wasn't very fortunate to get partners who understood that for every swap. so be it! i view them as a lesson learned.

those 3s made me realize how much this site means to me and how wonderful the friends, and majority of the swappers, on this site are. for those who cannot seem to understand that real life happens outside of this site sometimes beyond my control, i hope you never have to feel the amount of loss & pain i did during december. to those who were able to respect that, i say via la crafting & keep on being amazing!

all i want to do is have fun and turn every swap i do into a positive experience for people. i am still trying to learn my way around here and i'm not perfect. so can people maybe remember that and not always be ready to attack or judge? if you have any questions for me, just ask!!

GENERAL: when i can i like to avoid the post office (i have pretty bad social anxiety) so i either hand things off to my postman when he delivers the mail or drop things into a mailbox down the street. anything like a matchbox or some stuffed envie swaps (where i use a bubble envelope) i will always pay the extra for a tracking number. bigger packages i usually send through ups so those are also tracked. if for any reason you're not getting your swaps: PLEASE MESSAGE ME BEFORE RATING!

i always try my best if i know i'm having problems and running late to write everyone i'm sending to and let them know there is a swap coming so you don't think you're forgotten. however if i happen to not get your swap out on time it's because sometimes real life has to take first place to swaps. it doesn't happen often, but depression is a tricky thing. no matter what i will make an effort to contact you about any situation that occurs.

PLEASE DO NOT SEND: i am putting this on my profile twice just to make sure people see & read it. lately it seems all i have been getting in the mail is exactly what i have been asking NOT to get. this is very frustrating. i know people mean well sending extras, but i just have TOO MUCH of the following items.

• paper [the only exception is paper w/ cupcakes on it]
• stickers [i am good in this department, i have too many as it is]
• eatable / drinkable things [i feel weird about getting food from a virtual stranger & will not eat/drink it]

i don't want to sound unappreciative to those who have sent me any of these in the past, it was very sweet and i do love getting extras. i'm just saying for any future swappers, no more paper scraps, stickers or food items please (unless i specifically sign up to a swap with any of these in the requirements). thank you!

MY RATING SYSTEM: nothing makes me happier than being able to give a 5 and a heart to swappers. i usually give hearts if the swap is extra special (like hand drawn or appears to have taken a lot of time, effort & thought to put it together). sometimes just a personal message sent with the swap is enough to make a special difference in my day & i'll give a heart.

i will always leave a comment with my rating & i will always reply to my ratings. i feel that communication of likes / dislikes can help swappers broaden their crafting & swapping horizons. so please feel free to leave your thoughts on my work with your rating!

i rarely give 3s, but it's been known to happen. i try to wait a long time (4 - 6 weeks) if a swap is late before rating. i also write my partners if the swap is done incorrectly for a chance to resend & complete their swap the right way. however, if you never write me to say your swap will be late, chose not to fix the swap to requirements and/or i'm waiting longer than a those 6 weeks the dreaded 3 rating will be given.

i will give 1s if there is a no-send swap & am always willing to change it to a fair rating (meaning a 3 or 5, depending) if the swap is sent & received.

the bottom line & most important thing is: COMMUNICATION!! if you don't write me or i don't see any kind of update on your profile about something going on in your life preventing you from sending (on time or at all) then i will rate accordingly. i try to be fair & understanding as much as possible and i ask / hope that my partners will do the same.

ANGELS: i want to send my thanks to those who were awesome and angeled swaps for those who either had troubles & couldn't send or those who never sent so that i didn't end up flaked on or forgotten.

• @greengirl : apron atc (on 2.16 my original partner finally sent her atc. apparently she was having a very tough time of it for a while there. i say better late than never so now i ended up with 3 cool apron atc's)

• @GreenVelvet : cat postcard swap #2: international (eventually my original partner did send a 2nd postcard, apparently the 1st was lost in the mail)

• @celticblue : vintage christmas atc (although i wasn't flaked on this, there was a miss-communication, so i still want to send my thanks for the lovely extra atcs i ended up with!)

• @twobluecrows : 11.10.09 postcard swap (one of my partners sent the postcard early so thankfully twobluecrows covered the mistake and sent an extra on the date!)

• @MrsAnnaSue : pumpkin recipe swap (my one partner asked her to angel because she was going through a rough patch, i always like when a partner finds their own angel. mrsannasue sent some really excellent recipes too!)

• @michele360 : cupcake ATC 8.14.09 (one partner flaked, michele made 2 beautiful ATCs for me!)

• @veltheimia : fairy atc (my partner found an angel when she was not able to do the swap, so props to her!)

i may be missing a few, but i have to go through my box of received swaps & that's quite a task! if you know you angeled something for me & your name is missing, message me, i'll add you on here. i also want to give back the generosity of those who angeled & offer myself to angel swaps. so coordinators if you ever need an extra matchbox, atc or postcard sent please let me know! :)

FLAKERS: originally i didn't want to blast non-senders / flakers, but i feel like if they want to screw me by not sending (and sometimes saying they did although i never get anything) then i should share with the swap-bot world who to be on the look out for... i will remove names if swaps are ever sent, just like i will rerate the 1 i gave for a no send.

• @Lucky12324 : chinese zodiac swap: pig (last online 12.20.09 - was never angeled for this because the swap coordinator was my partner a well. still REALLY upset about this one because it was an atc i was really looking forward to since i love pigs)

• @mfinley524 : cupcake ATC 8.14.09 (user is partially suspended)

• @CuddlesPreda : postcard swap #2 (user is partially suspended)

NON-RATERS: if you can't take the 2 minutes or less it takes to give that 5 for a received & properly done swap i don't even know what to say, but here's people who have done just that.

• @Lila : a butterfly for me atc (last online 9.10.09)

• @camkin : 'the amazing race' atc swap: india (user partially suspended)

• @lovie313 : cupcake/dessert theme random envie swap (user partially suspended)

• @LindaBartlett : wizard of oz atc series: dorothy (has not been online since 2.23)