lettergirl

Note to new readers: I am normally a very happy and silly kind of person (read the rest of my profile--you'll see.) However, I am currently in some kind of hell right now, thanks to the upcoming divorce I'm about to face. Please forgive if I ramble, sound dismal, repeat myself, call my husband bad names, or shriek "WHY ME, GOD!?" at inappropriate moments. Hopefully this bleak situation will be over in a short, easy to predict, year or four, according to the current literature. I'm on month four as of this writing, so it shouldn't be long now. Thank you again for your support. Continue reading to see what I thought about when my life wasn't a heinous mass of ruin. (Would a jovial "ha!" here help you to be less depressed? OK.) Ha!

I think I've written college term papers that were easier than trying to introduce myself in print, but here goes. I am Jamie, and I'm 42 years old. I live in Arizona with two daughters, my mother (yep, it happened to me), and a cat named Gigi.

I like mail. THIS is my story....

I like things you can buy and then put together easily, and you can thank my rotten home ec teacher in 7th grade for that. The miserable woman scared me away from ever being able to use a sewing machine, just because my pig pillow took too long to assemble. If I weren't so OVER her, I'd hunt down one of those kits and embroider a swear word on it and send it to her. She's probably dead now, but still. Good thing I'm over it.

I like paper crafts. No home ec teacher ever ruined me on cutting and gluing.
Yet.

I like the idea of whimsey jars, and things that are delightful. I scrapbook, but my pages are really bad. Like the kind you don't put on flickr, but you rationalize them by believing your children will be glad to look at them when you're dead, even if they're awful. (I figure they might even feel sorry for me, and wished they had bought me better Mother's Day presents.)

I also like to make cards, because it requires no cutting of pictures, and if they're icky, you just send them to loved ones, and THEY can't complain, because they don't write at all.

(Ok, reader, if you're still with me, it must be interjected here that previously stood a humorous description of how much I loved all of the Real Housewives of Everywhere franchise, and a joke about my husband being annoyed about my devotion to said programs, but alas, I explained the whole husband situation. So I'm currently looking to find some new shows that have no previous memories attached of family togetherness.) I also love The Office, Modern Family, All in the Family, many of those shows judged by Simon Cowell or other British people, and The Loveboat theme song.

I go to the library and stand by the "new" book shelves, and if anyone looks like they're going in to reach for it, I grab it, because they know what they like, and it's probably good. It's fun to win.

I hate to admit it, us being just barely acquainted and all, but I like realistic fiction. Not that kind on the reading list for college literature, either. Just good old her-husband-had-an-affair-and-now-she's-picking-up-the-pieces kind of stories. Bonus if they contain recipes or talk about oceans. Extra bonus if they DON'T contain an overabundance of description.

Oh, and those memoirs of people who survived weird diseases, bad marriages, troubled children, hard times, or being trapped in countries where you can't take your children with you, even though he said they belonged to you both until you got there and now he said he divorced you and you'll never see your children again. And polygamy. I'm fascinated with polygamy.

I'm sorry to say I missed the boat on both Harry Potter and Twilight.

scrapbook papers and stickers designed for scrapbooking

charms

Address labels, since I don't know how to make anything on a computer whatsoever.

cupcake items--not real cupcakes, just cupcakey decoration on things. Or cupcake shaped things. Or cupcake colored things. Or maybe I changed my mind about real cupcakes. So, cupcakes too.

office supplies

unique pens and pencils

note paper that is decorated or funny

things with the "J" monogram on them

new sharpie markers in cool colors, or scrapbooking pens

glittery things

mini-sized things

Hot chocolate packets

a fun book you liked but no longer need around

star and heart shapes

trial sizes of regular products

shabby chic looking things

whimsey jars, or littler versions, like matchboxes, with a surprise inside

I'd ADORE a t-shirt from your local Bar-be-que restaurant or business, especially if it had your local city and state on it. Size XL, or XXL, thank you!

unique envelopes I can use, big or small

vintage bluebirds and happy looking birds

notecard and envelope

Stickles glitter glue

stamping supplies--stamps and inks

adhesives like tape runners, etc.

novelty key chains

journals or notebooks

larger stickers

charms that come in bubble gum machines, especially if they're old

when people send things out early

coloring books

vintage ephemera

felted toys

Grover from Sesame Street

anything related to the show "All in the Family"

candy

iced tea

long letters

October Afternoon brand scrapbook stuff is just my absolute favorite

word games and puzzles

dotee dolls

craft tape

pretty ribbon

Ireland, England, France and Italy

old salt and pepper shakers

items styled from the 20's to the 50's

postcards from your town

spring and summer

aprons

oilcloth

Martha Stewart craft products

books about polygamy (don't worry--I'm "anti-" but I don't judge)

light orange, red, yellow, light green, blue, lilac, purple, pink, sometimes brown.

the ocean and things related to looking at the ocean and eating lobster or going to the beach or having a vacation

squirrels and other woodland creatures

cool fonts on the computer

certain Kawaii things

one million dollars in unmarked bills

SCRATCH LOTTERY TICKETS

painting by numbers

art kits, even the small ones

dot-to-dot books or sheets, especially hard ones

recommendations of good authors and books

Bono from U2

lions

cats wearing wigs

fruit prints

Snoopy items

A good magazine

A cigar box

hand-knitted socks...I've never had any, I just wish you would make me some, you charity knitters out there.

Foam stickers. Foam anything.

When people miss the deadline but don't send you a message, so that you're wondering if they've forgotten about you or they don't intend to send it.

When people mark "sent" but they have not "sent".

Christmas stuff...I'm not against the idea of Christmas, I just really hate Christmas looking stuff.

Dark colors. Americana looking stuff, or apple-themed objects.

Candy made in China. (I just feel like I'm being poisoned with lead. Or melamine. Or leaded melamine.)

When people don't rate after they have gotten what you sent.

Fibers, confetti, plastic jewels, and those painted wooden little shapes.

The colors teal and logan green.

Black-eyed peas. Not Fergie. The actual legume.

Lady Gaga's sense of style.

Japanese anime.

Hear me out here: I hate re-gifted stuff. Now, now. I understand that we all have things we like and we don't, and can pass things on, and that's great. Very "green". But like, have any of you out there ever gotten a whole pile of stuff that you know has seen the rounds BECAUSE NOBODY REALLY LIKED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE AND PEOPLE KEEP SENDING IT ON AND ON? Very depressing. So, what I'm saying is, maybe if we re-gift something we KNOW is a kind of a "homely-not-bring-it-home-to-meet-mother" kind of item, then maybe we can make up for it with other, more attractive and usable stuff mixed in there, so the person we send it to does not want to hang themselves when they have no money but they're looking forward to a swap coming because, hey, at least there is MAIL to look forward to, and then you rip it open and it's like that "whaa whaa waaaaa..." sound they make when you lose in game shows and you know have no right to be choosy but still, you're...what? Oh, sorry. I mean...it's just that...er...sorry.

People who hate cats and like to say so.

LOL--I'm not saying you can't use it. I'm just asking, did you truly laugh out loud? Because if you didn't, I don't want you using that on me. I'll think you were laughing when you weren't.

I mean it. My profile has gotten quite specific and I hope no one finds me demanding or snotty. Or fat. Or random. It's just that I have had a couple of rough swaps lately, and so I thought it might behoove me to a) look up the word "behoove" in the dictionary first, and b) to try and clarify myself. I really appreciate you, thoughtful swappers. I will do my VERY best to send you good things, too.

I have gotten two 3's. Life happens, but I'd like to counter with all of my hearts. I'm a nice person who lets others make up for their problems, and have given a number of people 5's, well after the deadline for the swap. I also send extras every chance I get, and nearly always write a personalized note, even on Christmas card type swaps when they're not necessary. I know there are people out there who rarely go the extra mile but have 5's because they're sticklers for the rules. I'd rather have people like me. But then, that's just me.